Anniversary wishes and queries

Kudos or insecurity ?

Every single news of her success left me  with oodles of happiness moments whether it was her exam results, new hair style,first job, employee of month  reward and the time  i was low when she had a boring,annoyed and in a mayhem status on her wall post. I regret for being hapless as i can''t do anything to keep her away from mayhem,annoyance and boredom in that case, i Wish i was  a joker who can at least entertain her (still sounds illusion).  On every single occasion when I want to congrats her or clap for her, but i don't know how to do it .Most of time words are sort to come from my throat and palms struck together to have mute sounds instead of loud clap noise.

   

         All i care is her whereabouts and well-beings.  But the very next second black clouds of concerns shrouds me from all around and remarks of joy got diminished. The crater depth between both of us increases with every step of her on a success stair. From last three n a half year ,i was trying to move closer to her, on every single aspect. In-spite it seems like  "Turtle and  Rabbit "tale  where rabbit goes too far and turtle still looking to match her.similarly she is on a fast lane and i was on dusky road and they  will never accumulate  . I knew that After a particular period of time in future when  my subconscious  mind assumes that miracle will happen ,in that case my  conscious mind will not accept the truth .Believe in good luck,divine guidance,appropriate action and all blessings sounds hazy now a days.I have no idea what to call it insecurity or insanity.All i know is one thing that "i don't abhor her and even i don't think any bad happening for her "she is love of my life".Literary I am in turmoil with no options left  either i have  to maintain a distance  or try more harder to get  in her vicinity but in both the cases i ''ll hurt .It is better to die with a disease rather than to look for a medicine to cure it,once you consume it ,you just get addicted  and addiction kills with every passing  moment,action and a  day.

I wish, i will be creative,  god guide me,intelligence leads me and happiness follows her.Doesn't matter where she is and with whom she is ?She 'll be always my first love and  true inspiration.

Feeling coned but still saying ,happy new year...lol

Just meet with a bitter truth on the very first day of 2014.With more than 300 contacts in phone-book my phone rang only 1,2,3 and 4 times on the eve of new year.One from #home (mandatory because they have no option left as i am their eldest child), Bhaiya (i deserve and even damn sure about this one), Sanjeev Kumar Sharma(unwanted man) and the last one from Ram Kumar Raghunayak( oh! god, you made miracle happen sometimes). What my senses say about scarcity of phone calls : 1. Hike in call rates and Inc policies both , 2.Busy day schedule, 3.Don't want to interrupt my night naps and leave me for a day in isolation state and last and most rated ,Whether i had screwed enough peoples in past so that they don't want to ruin their day by having a chat with me. Thanks you all from the core to help me in my new year resolution of being MEAN AND NUMB. EVEN I console myself by citing that " this is not a new year day as per a Hindu perspective and might be flooded with wishes on Gudhi Padwa first day of Nav Varsh in a Hindu calendar.

HOney  bunny

Amul utterly Butterly ad related to honey singh has urged me to make my stand clear about him {the greatest HIP-HOP artist (till now) from India }.After whatever happened in Delhi in 2012 ,it transmitted in worst consequences . #YOYOHONEYSINGH is hyped as a controversial rapper across the country, but he was failed to cash the controversy. Those were the days when it was hard to believe that some one will rap in Hindi. Every single rapper across the globe has once been a part of controversial acts, whether it is Rakim, Nas, Big Daddy Kane, NWA, 2Pac, B.I.G, Big Pun, and Eminem. Though #2pac and #Eminem be the most inflamed that's why they are where,they wish to be.
Honey singh after found indulged in absurd song writings and performances ditched the core of rap and give a straight answer by refusing to be a part of it . why don't he rhyme those coarse days in his rap.
Now a days he sang too mainstream for SRK ,AKSHAY and Probablly for Nashrudin shah too which sounds cent percent fake.He has lost the chord for which he is adjudged as the best hip-hop artist, this country has ever seen. AS#HimeshReshamiya was best fallout of India till now,a lot can be learned from voice modulation of Hr.
All i wish is Smokey,Brodha -V, Raghu Dixit ,Ish bector and others will keep Indian hip-hop real and alive till the prime
If i have to define hip hop , i'll let it goes like ....
HIP HOP s Voice stabbed in rags .
HIP HOP s Language for mads!!
HIP HOP s all about GOOD n BAD ,!!
Which is why, HIP HOP is more than just Music n beats.
HIP HOP s a way of living as yo relate to! CULTURE f hip hop credos s above ya caste ,creed n curability humanity, morality n all yo known too !!

P.S : no hatred remarks just personal viewsHoney singh after found indulged in absurd song writings and performances ditched the core of rap and give a straight answer by refusing to be a part of it . why don't he rhyme those coarse days in his rap.Now a days he sang too mainstream for SRK ,AKSHAY and Probablly for Nashrudin shah too which sounds cent percent fake.He has lost the chord for which he is adjudged as the best hip-hop artist, this country has ever seen. AS#HimeshReshamiya was best fallout of India till now,a lot can be learned from voice modulation of Hr. All i wish is Smokey,Brodha -V, Raghu Dixit ,Ish bector and others will keep Indian hip-hop real and alive till the primeIf i have to define hip hop , i'll let it goes like ....HIP HOP s Voice stabbed in rags . HIP HOP s Language for mads!! HIP HOP s all about GOOD n BAD ,!!Which is why, HIP HOP is more than just Music n beats. HIP HOP s a way of living as yo relate to! CULTURE f hip hop credos s above ya caste ,creed n curability humanity, morality n all yo known too !!
P.S : no hatred remarks just personal views

Among the million questions accrued  within me,this is the immense  or may be the core one,"what will happen if she is in a relationship and allay have a boyfriend ...... a genuine question which,  i recently asked to myself.  
                                                                                                                                                               Don't spiel  like a stupid creature  ...she is still single and in case she is not ,then knot one thing:

Even the soccer matches have goalkeepers but the best striker always put the ball in net...

so you have to do it following the same track .keep  zeal at zenith and negativity at nadir till the day , you two are traipsing hand in hand.
  My heart in collaboration with the conscious brain replied , after taking  long two minutes ,in lew of my genuine question, .        An answer enough to boost me that even a VIAGRA can't -but in an another way........